Oh And One More Thing. . .

I forgot to put this in the last post. Just when you think people couldn't get any stupider. Some people got all up in arms that Bill Nye The Science Guy had the audacity to inform people in Waco, Texas that the Moon does NOT in fact give off it's own light. It merely reflects the light of the Sun. No matter what the Bible says. You can read all about it HERE. It always has to be Waco. Maybe that Wife Swap guy was right. 

Saturday Night is Alright

- I use a simple metal folding chair at my desk. Eventually, I was going to buy a nicer chair. After seeing THIS I think I'm just going to stick with what I have. I would recommend all of you getting a simpler chair as well. If you value your life. 

- THIS guy is a bigoted asshat but I'm not sure what he's getting at. If we don't repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell the army will become like the movie 300? I liked that movie, so what's the big deal?  Oh and I guess gays are Nazi's now. 

- Dear Internet, thank your for this bounty I am about to receive. The internet just keeps giving and giving. Case in point? ChristianNymphos.com. There's a treasure trove of greatness to find on this site, but I specifically linked to the questions page about anal sex. Give it a gander and look around. You can thank me later. 

- I actually saw this episode and this guy is a giant asshole. GIANT one. He deserves every bit of shit thrown his way. And then some. His wife was no picnic either. And their kids are just going to grow up horrible. But I will say the other family weren't angles either. The rural husband was a giant walking ignorant stereotype as well. He asked her why she wasn't, "the proud American". And the wife seemed to almost enjoy the fact that they ate nothing but extremely fattening foods. But yes, the urban father was probably one of the most annoying assholes I've ever seen. 

- Oh and Hugh Jackman is NOT gay. NOT gay at all. You can read about how he's NOT gay HERE and HERE. And I know I must sound totally naive but I never really did think he was gay before reading these. I figured if he was really gay he would have never done The Boy From Oz or hosted the Tony's or any of that. Usually closeted actors run fast away from anything that's even remotely gay. But Hugh ran right to them, which made me think he probably really wasn't. The smoking gun for me is that this producing partner used to be Bryan Singer's assistant. And how he went from there to Hugh's publicist and so on. As if they needed to keep finding reasons for him to be around. And the ring thing is just weird. The sort of thing straight men don't do.  The first site is correct though, he would have the exact same career as he has now. Outside of playing Wolverine he's not exactly a bankable star. He doesn't open movies on his own unless he's playing that one character. And people are still going to see Wolverine movies no matter what. It's 2009. I think most people don't give a shit or will get over it. But really, I'm sure he's NOT gay and hey, this arrangement seems to work for them, so more power to them. I don't think anybody would care if he came out. But he's NOT gay so he doesn't have to come out. I'm just saying is all. 

My Bologna Has A First Name

So the Oscars are on Sunday and I for sure will be watching this year. Even though I'm not passionately rooting for any particular film this year, I'll still watch the show. Of course now people have to dust off their jokes and complaints about how long the show is. This annoys me to no end. Nobody is forcing you to watch the show. If you complain that it's too long, here's a thought: Don't Watch It! How simple is that. Nobody is putting a gun to your head. So either don't watch or shut the fuck up. Simple. I've seen just about everything that's in the major categories except for Changeling and Frozen River which are both in the Best Actress category. Some thoughts about who I'd like to win and whatnot: 

Best Original Screenplay: I am really hoping it is In Bruges. This film deserves all the kudos and praise it gets. Hopefully a win will expose it to more people. I wouldn't mind if Milk won, even though I have some problems with how they're selling the screenwriter. I'm all for hot shirtless men, almost any time. But I don't think it fits with this film and what this film is about. 

Best Adapted Screenplay: Looking over the list of Ben Button, The Reader, Slumdog, Frost/Nixon, and Doubt I really don't care if any of these win or don't win. 

Best Visual Effects: You've got to give something to The Dark Knight. I think the problem here though is that a lot of the effects so seamlessly blended into the movie you don't know they were there. Which is what you want. It'll probably go to Ben Button. 

Best Original Song: It'll probably be 'Jai Ho' from Slumdog. Not a great song, but catchy. 

Best Original Score: The one thing I really love about Danny Boyle is his music choices. The man knows how to pick music for his movies. I wasn't enamored with Slumdog Millionaire but the music was fantastic and it fit just right in most places. Boyle always chooses great music and has produced some of my favorite soundtracks ever. From Sunshine, to The Beach, to the great Trainspotting. 

Best Makeup: Probably be Ben Button. 

Best Foreign Language Film: I haven't seen any of these but I will tell you which one I don't want to win: The Class. I'm so sick of seeing the trailer for that film in front of every damn movie that plays at the Fox Tower. If I see it one more time I'm going to scream. Seriously. 

Best Film Editing: The rule of thumb is the movie with the most cuts wins. So gonna be Slumdog and I'm okay with that. 

Best Documentary: I've only seen Man on Wire and really, can anything be better than that? I don't think so. Lets hope this wins. 

Best Costume Design: I can see this going to The Duchess just because it has extravagant costumes but I'm actually hoping for Milk. It captured that 70's look without be way over the top as is often tempting to do. 

Best Cinematography: Again this will probably go to Slumdog even though the cinematography wasn't all that special. I'm pulling for The Dark Knight because what they did with the IMAX camera is amazing. Especially considering how awkward it is to film with such a huge camera. 

Best Art Direction: Likely be Ben Button and rightly so. 

Best Animated Feature: How could this be anything but WALL*E?

Best Supporting Actor: It's going to be Heath and totally justified. And not just because he's dead, but because he should have won for Brokeback. That was an amazing performance. Just as his Joker was. Sorry Mr. Hoffman, your Capote was good, but it was a mimic piece. And I don't get why Josh Brolin was nominated for Milk. I didn't think he did anything special in that. James Franco was the real heart of that movie and the nomination should have gone to him. Maybe people picked up that it wasn't all that much of an act. 

Best Supporting Actress: I'd bet money on Penelope Cruz and not just because I love the Woody. She's way past due. Her work in the past, especially Volver,  was fantastic and she really has grown as an actress in english. There was a disconnect between her Spanish work and stuff done in Hollywood. Not anymore. Though I could see Marisa Tomei squeaking in a win too. Partly because she's had a comeback of late and it'll finally quash those stupid rumors that she didn't really win for My Cousin Vinny. Oh and she showed her ta-tas. 

Best Actor: It's not going to be Pitt because his character is so damn passive. One of my complaints of the movie. Langella & Jenkins have both been around forever and seem really liked by everybody. I think the nomination is the reward for them. Right now the forecasters are saying it's down to Sean Penn vs. Mickey Rourke. Both gave great performances in good films. I liked Milk a lot more than The Wrestler but their performances were both pretty amazing. I think I'm leaning towards Rourke winning though. Mostly because Penn already has one and who doesn't want to see what Rourke will say up there? Everybody loves a huge comeback. That way we can watch them crash and burn all over again. 

Best Actress: All the money is on Kate Winslet. And yes she's way, way overdue. And while I'm one of the few people who enjoyed The Reader her performance here wasn't as strong as the one in Revolutionary Road. So while I'm happy she's probably going to win, my idealistic side hopes she doesn't and wins later for a really fantastic performance. But this is probably her time. A lot of times people win for a body of work rather than a single performance. Look at Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman. He didn't win for that movie, he won for his career. I've read about how Meryl could pull a surprise because she hasn't won in forever even though she's been nominated more times than I've had orgasms. *zing* Plus she's become a really bankable full fledge movie star in her later years which really is all kinds of awesome if you ask me. If there is going be a surprise upset in this category I really hope it's Anne Hathaway. I only saw Rachel Getting Married two weeks ago and I was ready to hate. A lot of people I read online seem to freak about about Jonathan Demme and I don't really get it. He's made some good stuff, but they talk about him like he's a revolution. I really think it's probably that he's such a nice guy in person, that the enthusiasm carries over to whatever he makes. I sense that a lot of times in reviews and such. But I was surprised by the movie. I had a few quibbles with it, but I really connected with it. Which was something I didn't do with a lot of films this year. And Hathaway's performance was pretty damn great. So give it to Kate, but if not, give it to Anne. Please. 

Best Director: It was a weak year for movies in my opinion. I really wanted to emotionally connect with lots of films but it just didn't happen. That was my biggest complaint with Benjamin Button. There was a lot of, "That was pretty good". Not a lot of, "OMG that was fucking great!" With the exception of Ron Howard and Stephen Daldry all of these directors have had past movies that I absolutely loved. Gus Van Sant gave us My Own Private Idaho and I've really enjoyed his last few years of experimental cinema. Plus having a local boy win would be nice, even though the vapid local news would lose its shit and it would drive me nuts. I just don't think I can give it to him because of the Psycho remake. He's been doing penance for that for years now, I'm just not sure he's out of cinema jail for that yet. Not in my book at least. But I wouldn't mind if he won. 

Danny Boyle too gave us Trainspotting and that will always get my good will. Plus recently Sunshine didn't get the love it deserved. I wasn't a huge fan of Slumdog. A lot of that has to do with Dev Patel's mouth breathing performance and his inability to do anything proactive. And I'm going to assume those were not accidents. Especially the performance. Patel is good on Skins. So sorry Boyle, I can't give it to you here. 

So my choice would be Fincher. Partly because I think Zodiac is his masterpiece it was criminal the way that movie was overlooked. Also partly because I don't think Fincher will ever make a movie like this again and this probably is his only chance to win. So give it to him now. Or don't and he'll be in good company like Hitchcock and Kubrick. Oh and if for some reason he does win, look for Portland news stations to work themselves into a tizzy since he grew up in Ashland. But everybody says Danny Boyle will win. So be it. I won't be disappointed in that outcome either. Again because of his past films. Not this one. 

Best Picture: Ben Button. The Reader. Frost/Nixon. Slumdog. Milk. 

First a note on The Dark Knight not being nominated. I'm not all up in arms that it wasn't nominated. But I don't think that it would have been such a bad thing if it had been. It would have been a nice reward for the film. I think it can stand up there with those five films and is at least on the same quality level, if not better. And the Academy has nominated films in the past such as The Fugitive, Working Girl (?!), Fatal Attraction, Juno, and Ghost. And while I enjoy those films on different levels I can at least honestly say The Dark Knight could go toe to toe with any of those and come out on top. And I freakin love The Fugitive. But at the end of the day, it doesn't break my heart or make me angry. It is what it is. And on the plus side I think not getting nominated dials down the hype for it and takes some pressure off Nolan. How would he follow up and even top a film that's the second highest grossing movie ever plus it was nominated for tons of Oscars? The answer is you don't. And I can see Nolan not even trying to make another one and leaving the series to someone else. Most likely Brett Ratner or the like. Ugh. Nolan's already talked about how the third movie in a series almost always sucks. No matter how good the first two are. Look at Spiderman 3. So why put yourself through that? This way there's less pressure and I really hope Nolan can break the third movie curse, if you will. It'll be at least 2011 before we know. Good. Give it plenty of time. 

So who than am I pulling for? Everyone says it's going to be Slumdog. Again fine. I think if The Reader or Frost/Nixon won it's be a big WTF moment. A Ben Button win would be fine as well. But I'm going to have to pull for the one of the three that I most emotionally connected with and that is Milk. If you have to ask why you either don't know me or you don't know what the movie is about. It's timely and yet shows us an important part of history. And it's about politics and how to work the system. It's about how we need leaders to stand up. Leaders to believe in. It's about how you have to stand up for your rights. You have to fight for them. And don't stop until you win. It's about how it's never too late to change your life. Harvey didn't change his tune until he was 40. And it's about love. Always about love. So I'd love Milk to win. I know it'll be Slumdog and that's okay, but I hope Milk surprises. Even though Portland media would flip out, as if they'd done something, and it would drive me nuts to no end. Portland is like the really short guy in Wranglers who drives the big jacked up pick up truck. The little man who desperately wants to be big. 

And really, you can never go wrong with James Franco's naked ass. Never. 

Lose Weight Now

This is why you're so fat. 

This is how you lose weight.

The more active you are, the more weight comes off! Really?! Wow! 

And you wake up weighing less. Newsflash. Everybody weights less first thing in the morning. How appropriate that their company was based out of Las Vegas. 

Crisis? What Crisis? Oh That One!

This really helps. I don't totally get it yet, maybe if I watch it a few more times. It helps with the broad strokes. I'm not an economist but even I can see that maybe playing games of chicken with people's homes was a big fucking mistake. Huge and not smart. And I don't even know what will begin to get us out of this. But I see the value in at least trying something rather than doing nothing. And they need to get some regulations in place so they can't do this ever again when things turn around. If they turn around.

The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

Impressions of Color

I imagine this is what mushrooms are like. To get the full effect you really should watch it in HD on the YouTube page. But it's still a pretty cool effect nonetheless. I'm not really sold on the song though. But love the visuals. Like an impressionist painting come to life. And is that a weed field they're in?

Decaf

Robert Gibbs is a pretty great Press Secretary. He seems like a pretty cool character. Just like his boss. Nothing phases him. His taking on Sean Hannity is classic. And the White House is smartly playing this. Making Mr. Santelli the focal point of this, with his trading room floor rant yesterday, and positioning them on the other side. Ya know, on the side with most Americans. What a refreshing change of pace. 

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Oh Pedro, You Tease!

A new film by Almodovar is always something to look forward to. Especially when he works with Penelope. But why only such a short tease? 

If A Bear Masturbates In The Woods. . .

While this is pretty funny, I don't get why they can't take the masturbating bear to 11:30? What difference does a freaking hour make? It's still late at night. I'm pretty sure most kids are asleep at that hour or at least watching something else. I doubt the late night comedy shows on network TV are their cup of tea. Basically what they're signaling is that the tone of the show IS going to change. I like the Conan show, but it's not appointment TV for me. But I generally like it when I watch it. He's mostly good until the first guest. He's not a particularly skillful interviewer, but he does okay. I have no idea what the new show is going to be like, but it will be different. I imagine it'll be tamer, which is a bad thing. He's going to try to play to the geriatric rubes who lap up Leno. Only they won't be watching. They'll watch his 10 pm show, then the news, and then go to bed. And moving from New York to L.A. is puzzle to me. Why on Earth would any person want to from New York to L.A.? Conan doesn't have a L.A. sensibility and that was one of his charms, his East Coast attitude.  

And dear God what happened to Carrie Fisher? Okay, I know what happened to her: crazy parents, Hollywood, and bad marriages. But still. What happened? It's always a bad sign for any celebrity when the host has to exclaim who the person is. We all know who she is, but did they fear that nobody would recognize her in her current state? And that horrible coat? It looks like she slaughtered some Ewoks and stitched'em together. Inside out. 

Savor It

If you have 25 minutes to spare, I suggest you sit back, close your eyes and savor it. 


Any guesses as to what cinematic serial killer had this record in his bedroom?

We're Awake Now

I was reading the AV Club's New Cult Canon on the film Eyes Wide Shut and came away disappointed. I was expecting a well constructed deconstruction and explanation. Just a case of my expectations not being in line with the reality of what their Cult Canon series is. Don't get me wrong, it was informative and interesting, I just didn't feel it did the film justice. My inclination is that they didn't have the time and/or space available to really get into it. Disappointing but no bother. One of the comments on the article dealt with how Kubrick was successful in doing something most other directors can't do: showing the reality of just how short Cruise is. Especially in the scene during the orgy where he's discovered and must remove his mask. I was searching through YouTube to find this scene to see if that was true. Of course that specific part of the scene isn't to be found online. But of course the other parts of the orgy scene are readily available. Priorities I guess. I did however, stumble across this analysis of Eyes Wide Shut in three parts. I found the review I wanted after all. The whole thing is pretty fascinating to me. I especially like his remark that in dreams often it's the small, inconsequential details that hold the most meaning and that a much deeper meaning of Eyes Wide Shut comes out of picking up on those details. Also, I've seen the film many times now and never had noticed that Kidman never looks at the mask on the pillow near the end of the film. Here's the whole analysis if you're so inclined. I can't wait to view his other deconstructions on Kubricks work. Oh, and there's lots of nudity in these clips. It's boobs. Get over it. 

Douche Bag of the Week!

"Homosexuality will always be a sexual perversion. And you say that around here now and everybody goes nuts. But I don't care. They're mean. They want to talk about being nice. They're the meanest buggers I have ever seen. It's just like the Muslims. Muslims are good people and their religion is anti-war. But it’s been taken over by the radical side. What is the morals of a gay person? You can't answer that because anything goes. They're probably the greatest threat to America going down I know of," - Utah state Sen. Chris Buttars.

Congratulations Buttars. You're the douche bag of the week. And I can't think of a more deserving douche bag than you! And we are mean sons of bitches! So watch out, we could be coming for you next! 

There's a storm brewing.

Look, I'll be upfront and say I don't know dick about the economy. I only sort of understand the broad strokes of what's going on. I expect I could spend years studying it and still not get a grasp on it. It's a big convoluted beast. But when I see clips like this I can't help but think there's a war coming. Not 'war', war, but like the 'culture wars'. There is a class war coming. If you want to call it that. I don't know from an economic point of view if the housing plan will help or not. But on just a pure visual and visceral level this is outrageous and I think most people who see it will get that. To have a rich man on a trading floor going off about how we're going to 'subsidize the loser's mortgages' and to have them cheering it on is freakin' outrageous. On a base level this guy is arguing that trying to help 9 million individuals and families stay in their homes is wrong. And as Obama said yesterday, this plan is going to help those that acted responsibly. That it will not help dishonest lenders or people that bought homes they knew they'd never be able to afford anyways. But this guy thinks that those that did play by the rules should all be thrown out on the street. That's crazy to me. Even after banks have gotten billions of dollars in bailouts. So we're supposed to subsidize loser bankers but not loser home owners? And I'm sure this guy doesn't work for a bank that's getting a bailout and has no connection to any of that. But just the image is of all of them cheering him on baffles me. 

Damn that gotcha media. . . I mean colleagues.

They're always just out to get you, aren't they Sarah? From WaPo by way of DailyKos: 

A couple of weeks before the Alaska legislature began this year's session, a bipartisan group of state senators on a retreat a few hours from here invited Gov. Sarah Palin to join them. Accompanied by a retinue of advisers, she took a seat at one end of a conference table and listened passively as Gary Stevens, the president of the Alaska Senate, a former college history professor and a low-key Republican with a reputation for congeniality, expressed delight at her presence.

Would the governor, a smiling Stevens asked, like to share some of her plans and proposals for the coming legislative session?

Palin looked around the room and paused, according to several senators present. "I feel like you guys are always trying to put me on the spot," she said finally, as the room became silent.

Oh how I hope they anoint her savior of the GOP. The crash and burn would be huge!

Oh and in case you were still wondering: That Ain't Her Kid!

Guess What? You're On Cocaine.

Godbless The 70's

I think this movie just moved to the top of my must see list. WTF is this? Even if it didn't have Sean Connery in a diaper, I'd still want to watch this. The nice thing about the 70's was that everybody was on drugs, even the studio heads, so you could slip any crazy idea by them and get away with it. What a fantastic decade. 

Aaagh! Gays! Beware!

Nobody is expecting much out of the Tyra Banks show but what's on today is weak, even for her. She has some 19yo homo who says that when he's 30 he's going to become straight. And he doesn't like penises unless they look like his. And he thinks gay men are weaker and femmy. So they found some self loathing homo from Kansas who wanted to get on TV and a free trip to New York. Of course this guy is dressed like a total mo. They just showed his 'ex-girlfriend' who was his only 'long term gf' for a whole year. And of course she's a big girl. I'm assuming the Tyra show has plenty of gay staffers, so why are they treating this like it's some big crazy story? Is there any bigger gay cliche than the gay guy who dates a big girl when he's young and then comes out and she becomes the fag hag. 

If they really wanted a story they should have waited until he's 30 and followed how he's going to 'change' himself. Ooooh, but that's ELEVEN years from now! Which of course this dolt will have dealt with his issues, like we ALL have to and will have gotten over it. 

Fuck this, I'm changing the channel and watching The Cosby Show. 

Has it been 15 minutes yet?

This is getting fucking ridiculous. Check out this story. 

But really to be expected. 

Why? 

Because he's a: 

And can the media stop calling him a 'former intern' already. He was a intern down in Salem. Not up in Portland. They weren't even in the same city let alone office. He was an intern for what, one school term?? You know what he's done the most, waiting tables. He's fucking waiter. And now works in some leasing office. And from the looks of that story he's well on his way to soft core porn career.  I worked at UPS for a few months, but people don't say about me 'former UPS employee'. But they love to call him 'former intern' as if Adams was using his position to seduce him. Adams had no direct authority over him. 

And check out this quote from the article: "He came to L.A. to prove that the Portland scandal does not define his sexuality."

So to prove that the scandal does not define his sexuality his first thought is to pose nude in a gay magazine?? That's defining your sexuality buddy boy. You don't get any more defining that than. Maybe posing in a straight magazine would be something. But really, you know what this is? Just trashy. And it just gives more fodder for all the attacks and all the stereotypes. Adams did enough damage to us and helped continue the stereotypes. 

Just go away already. Move to L.A. and try to get famous from doing nothing and then drift into obscurity already. Please. Go away. 

What's really sad though is that I know he won't. He's not done with his 15 minutes yet. He's ready to cash in and there will always be some outlet that will exploit that. 

Ugh. I'm sick of all of this already. 

Wrestle With This

It was all a dream.

So T-Shirt Hell isn't going out of business after all. It was all a prank to scare up more shirt sales. That's kind of a fucked up way to stir up business. I guess I shouldn't have expected anything less from the site that dreamed up shirts like these: 

I understand the economy is hard now, but that's still pretty fucked up way to drum up business. Like if Circuit City all of the sudden said, 'just fooling, but we got all your money already'. A lot of their shirts are funny and a lot are just dumb. This isn't the way to build customer loyalty. You can read their statement about all this HERE. 

That's it, I'm going to start Hoodie Heaven. 

He's Back.

Ahrnuld will be back after all. AICN is reporting that Schwarzenegger is joining Stallone's film The Expendables. And his source is pretty much Stallone since he has a history with the site, so I'd say it's pretty solid. It's only a cameo but the 80's action movie child in me still thinks this is kinda cool. Adding to a cast that includes Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Forest Whitaker, and the resurrected Mickey Rourke. Jean-Claude Van Damm turned down a role in this which shows that he's probably not just quite off the blow yet. My only complaint with this is that Stallone is going for a PG-13 rating. Why? A cast like this begs for an R rating. Maybe not a gore fest like the crazy last Rambo. Some bullet hits, a little light T&A, casual swearing, maybe a head shot here or there. You know, the good stuff. The audience for this is us children of the 80's and 90's. The forlorn emo tweens don't want to see this. 

Now how do they get Bruce Willis in this?

Twosday Musings

- Michele Bachmann is a vapid moron. Giant vapid moron. 

- Yay! Real Time with Bill Maher is back starting this Friday! If like me you don't have HBO the episodes are usually broken down and pasted on YouTube the next day. So you can just check out New Rules or watch the whole show in segments. I'm sure you'll be seeing some clips of the shows on here. And if you haven't seen it yet, check out Religulous. Whether you're religious or not, it gives you something to think about and you get to laugh at the same time. 

- THIS has to be the best Watchmen promotion ever. You too can have Dr. Manhattan's dick. 

- Hey Bobby, if you do this, good luck with re-election or even making a run for Pres in '12. I say let them turn it down and do what Nagin says, give all the stimulus money the state turns down to New Orleans. God knows they could use. 

- THIS headline annoys me with it's total stupidity. 

- New Google Phone looks a lot like the old Google phone only it's white. 

- So THAT'S why he came out in support for Chris Brown. 

- George Harrison is great. I know he's dead, but I refuse to say 'he was great' because his greatness is still present. His son is starting a band. I wish him all the luck in the world. 

- So that 15yo girl from the UK who got pregnant with the 13yo who looked like an 8yo had sex with two other guys too and now they don't know who the father is. I smell a Maury Povich prime time spectacular!

- Yay for Dr. Dean. 

- Hot Men Working It: 

It's all the fault of Zoloft!

How is this church (and I use that term very, very loosely) not treated like a cult?

How are they given any legitimacy in any regard? Hopefully Scientologists blaming 9/11 on psychiatry won't go unnoticed and will bring some long over due scrutiny on this cult. 

First of all Zawahiri is an eye surgeon. Not a psychiatrist. And Bin Laden is a evil sociopath. Blaming away his crimes on being drugged is disgusting. Scientologists are fucking crazy nutjobs. Just because they don't wear track suits and don't commit mass suicide doesn't mean they are any less dangerous. 

Random Musings

- THIS is the beginning of the end for Starbucks. The whole concept of instant coffee goes against everything that they stand for. And if they think that this is their way out of the darkness, well think again. 

- Check out this: Gay Snipers! Oh My! As stupid as that video is, I was going to write about it but found out that somebody already did the heavy lifting. You can read that HERE. 

- Another lovely little bon mot from DailyKos that shows just how out of touch the 'punditry' is. Why these people always seem ready to fellate the GOP at every turn boggles my mind. Thankfully the poll numbers show that the American public get it. And the success of Paul Blart: Mall Cop aside, we're not as dumb as they think we are. 

- THIS cracks me up as well. They're claiming victory but um. . . hey guys. . . you know that thing you voted against? Well it passed. So really you failed. And that $300 million for new cars you rail against? That's to buy and switch the government fleet of cars over to hybrids and more energy efficient vehicles. In the long run, that's going to save money. 

- Geek out alert: New trailer for Transformers 2: Even Bigger Giant Fucking Robots!

- Even geekier alert: Devin over at Chud posted a very interesting and well thought out article about how this economic depression might change comic books and change them for the better. I agree to some extent. Comic books need to break free of just being about superheros. I'm just not sure this depression will do what he thinks it will. But the comic world does need to open up if it wants to survive. Just the one time I went into the comic store over on Hawthorne I was definitely treated like some sort of outsider. And shit like that will kill your business. 

- So the Rock and Zac Efron are going to be in a live action Johnny Quest. Big whoop. And why the debate about if Johnny is going to be a 12 or 18 year old? Zac Efron looks like a 12 year old boy, so I assume they're going the younger route. Zing!

- I've never been a fan of Britney Spears. I don't get the appeal. I never have. But anybody who wears a Richard Nixon T-shirt is okay in my book. Even though if I had to guess, she probably doesn't even know who he is. 

- I'm still the king of Pop Culture Trivial Pursuit. Though just barely this time. And really, how the hell could I forget Sean Hayes name??? I'm taking next week off because of the Oscars and hopefully the time off will give me time to recharge. I expect the next time I play to be a blow out. Hah. Until then, I'll celebrate and psych myself up with this:

Craig's Greatest Hits

This easily rises to the top of the greatest Craigslist postings ever: 

To the woman that crapped in my car. (NE Portland) 

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Stout
P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early.Touché.

Republican Taliban

If you want a good wrap up and analysis on the stimulus debate, you could do a lot worse than THIS. Andrew Sullivan again delivers the goods. And using 'Republican Taliban' is great. I hope it sticks. And how the GOP just seems to forget the last eight years boggles my mind. We haven't forgotten, yet they all seem to have collectively erased their minds of the last administration and that they got us into this mess. They really are like the Borg. One collective mind. Rather I mean, one stupid collective mind. 

Go Susie Go!