Life's A Bench

Men will stick their dicks in anything. 

Anything.

Madonna alone is proof of that. Hey-O!

Let's just say that if you ever find yourself in a park in Hong Kong and feel the need to sit down, just move along. Who know's where that bench has been. 

New Rules

Porn in the USA

How much do you love this: conservatives are the biggest consumers of porn in the United States. You can read all about it HERE. And the state with the biggest online porn consumption in all of the United States? Why that'd be Utah! Gotta love the Mormons!

Confetti for all!

I'm sure it was a fantastic, romantic date. 

Start Spreading The News

Do you want to live like I do? Or rather did? Well now you can! My old room in New York is back up for rent. Be mere blocks from Harlem. Listen in wonder as the 1 train blows by every 10 minutes. Spy on neighbors without any qualms about walking around nude. Experience the aromas of your Puerto Rican neighbors barbecuing on the sidewalk out front. Marvel at living above a liquor store and a chinese restuarant! Learn to kill roaches with everyday household objects! 

And if you take it furnished you can enjoy all the furniture I left behind. 

Why are cats all of the sudden okay? 

The Green Lantern is blue.

Emo Green Lantern?  Um. . . no. Besides the fact that Anton Yelchin has major gay face (major), he's too young and too damn short. The Green Lantern should be at least as tall as me, if not taller. And is too much to ask that they actually cast a man? Not a boy. Why do they always cast young people in these superhero movies? Brandon Routh did okay by Superman but he still looked like he just hatched from the egg. Robert Downey Jr. was an actual adult in Iron Man and that turned out alright. Lets hope they come to their senses. Oh and in other news, this is the best thing ever. Ever. 

Douche Bag of the Week!

This just takes the cake. I really should award him douche bag of the month because this is just outrageous. In Colorado state senator Scott Renfroe, a Republican (of course),equated being gay on the same level of committing murder. He made these statements during a debate about a bill that would allowed gay state employees to give health care benefits to their partners. Again, why is there even a debate about this? How can anybody debate the merit of this? He went on to say: 

“I’m not saying this (homosexuality) is the only sin that’s out there.” “We have murder. We have all sorts of sin. We have adultery. And we don’t make laws making those legal, and we would never think to make murder legal.”

If you want, you can hear his whole speech HERE. I'm too disgusted to sully my blog with his spoken words here. If you feel like sharing a few choice words with this douche bag, there's a handy form HERE. Vent away dear friends. 

Richie Cunningham is a pimp!

What's wrong with this list? 

Jamie Foxx

T-Pain

Forest Whitaker

Samuel L. Jackson

Quincy Jones

Jake Gyllenhaal? 

and 

Ron Howard?! 

What? What the fuck is Opie doing in this video? And on what planet is Opie considered some sort of badass pimp player? The man is the epitome of square white honkey. And what's with the guy in the panda suit? Is Jamie Foxx a secret furry? This is just stupid. Jamie Foxx, I think you need to give back your hip-hop credentials. They were always conditional, but this crosses the line. You're done. 

Oh and Jake Gyllenhaal is NOT gay. 

Great Big Fat Person

As I walked home today I kept saying this in my head then laughing. Yes I'm aware I'm totally crazy. But I'm totally working this into my lexicon. Oh Buffalo Bill, you're good for countless hours of entertainment. 

Hot. Hot. HOT!

You might want to get a Kleenex or something before you watch this video. No, not for that you dirty bird. To wipe the drool from your mouth. Okay, maybe the other thing too. It's okay. I won't judge. 

How do people this beautiful exist?

I Just Gotta Dance!

Ladies & Gentlemen, your next viral video sensation. 

BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.

Coming soon to The Soup, The View, and probably The Bravo awards. Okay, maybe not. He's not weird enough. Or awkward enough. And that's probably horrible to say, but that's why a lot of these things take off. Now if he was 30 pounds heavier or say wearing nothing but a thong the whole time, then this thing would take off like a rocket. But as a self conscious chubby dancer myself, I have to say, bravo! And kudos on the music choices. Anybody who ends with New Order is okay in my book!

Toosday Linkin'

- Conan and Andy together again. This is kinda cool news. He won't be on the couch as a full sidekick I suppose, but he'll be in the skits and whatnot. And it gets Richter back on TV. He's a funny guy but his post Late Show career has been bomb-o!

- She should have gotten 3X as much. Worth every penny. 

- So now do we get to have false outrage and obsess over another black woman's nipple? God I hope not. But I expect the wingnuts to jump on this. Or one wingnut who'll mail out thousands of complaints all his own. Somebody think of the children!

- Not a moment too soon. 

- Free is a very good price. Of you could save the cost of postage and make one yourself. I think all these different ribbons and wristbands have kinda gotten out of control. Especially when theirs wristbands for everything now. It's not just for diseases anymore. Now they've got funny sayings or product placement on them. Are you fighting cancer or showing you're support for, 'no fat chicks'? I never know anymore. But it's all pretty harmless, so what could one more ribbon hurt? And as Kramer found out, 'You must wear the ribbon. Everybody wears the ribbon'. 

- CNBC's Rick Santellis is the new Joe the Plumber. 

- I guess to be PC they can't use dwarfs anymore. 

- Mr. Faraci's Watchmen review from over at CHUD. Long read and very well thought out, per usual. I agree on almost all accounts. Mr. Snyder really make the movie it's own thing but at the same time totally captured the book. 

- And finally, Bill Maher's show is back on HBO for another season. Yay to that! If like me you don't have HBO you can always watch the whole show on YouTube. It just takes a little searching to find all the segments, but it can be done. I recommend it highly. But as always, here's the best part: New Rules. 

Girls Still Being Girls

Hat Tip to the lovely Ronnie. 

Kentucky Fried Mel

Like Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson is probably a pretty nutty person in real life. But that doesn't discount a pretty damn good body of work. They ain't all gems. They can't all be. So it was nice to see him on Kimmel last night and this movie parody is heee-larious!

It's A Meta World

I'm glad she won, for sure. But oh the delicious irony in an actress winning an Academy award for a film that did in some regards deal with the Holocaust while having called out shameless Holocaust movie award grabs. 

Best of the Night

The show isn't anywhere near done, but you'll be hard pressed to find a more touching moment in the show. For my money anyways. It made me tear up. And rightly so. Moving and eloquent. 

For The Cuz