Fagney & Gaycey Return!

I kinda like this song.

Something tells me this boy is an amazing bottom. I'm not quite sure what it is though.

This clip does the hard work for you so you can compare. Pretty good:

Stereotypes In Action

Fat Guy Screams for McDonald's Chicken - Watch more Funny Videos


Oh where to begin? First of all does he really call himself crippled? Sorry but obesity isn't a disability. Really. And way to curse in front of a little kids. A bit of advice, next time fatty, if you want chicken go to KFC.

A Jew & A Catholic? It'd Never Work!

And he was actually dropping her off at school. She's not a teacher but a student. She has the Jack disease. She's actually 7. She's an Irish-Roman Catholic. He's a Jewish Pederast. Can they ever make it work in this topsy turvy world?

Can you believe this show was considered controversial in the early 70's? 

To make up for the last one. . .

This is the only semi non porn clip I could find of Malachi Marx, but boy howdy is he hot! He's in the dark green shorts. This clip gets NSFW at the end. 






See more of him in action HERE. Hottest thing ever! 

Humans Are Fucking Sick.

Seriously, fucking sick. Furries were bad enough. THIS fetish is much, much worse. I'm not going to include a pic or the youtube videos. If you're curious enough, you'll just have to see for yourself. Be warned. 

Kinda Cool

Enjoy Your Nightmares

Must See

This song is from 1935!

Oedipus Garden

Maybe I'm reading too much into this but this commercial is almost as disgusting as their disgusting food.

HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot fucking wait for this. If I still have free HBO by then I'll be a very happy camper. If I don't, I don't know what the fuck I'll do. But this sounds like a great way to do a Seinfeld reunion without actually doing a shitty Seinfeld reunion. I'm so excited. From HitFix.com below:

On Thursday (July 30) afternoon at the Television Critics Association press tour, HBO presented clips from the upcoming seventh season of "Curb Your Enthusiasm." The clips featured series stars Larry David, Jeff Garlin and Cheryl Hines, but it also featured some mighty familiar faces from David's past.

How familiar? Try Jason Alexander. And Julia Louis-Dreyfus. And Jerry Seinfeld.

Indeed, a full-on "Seinfeld" reunion is coming to HBO this fall, but maybe not in exactly the manner fans of the beloved NBC comedy were hoping for.

"The context is that for years I've been asked about a 'Seinfeld' reunion, as has Jerry and the other cast members, and then one day I realized that —- I mean, I would always say, 'No, there's no reunion. There's not going to be a reunion show. We would never do that. It's a lame idea.' And then I thought, 'But it might be very funny to do that on 'Curb.'' And I kept thinking about the idea. I started to think of different scenarios and how we could pull this off, and I called Jerry. And Jerry was game. And I said, 'Well, I'll call the others,' and I did. And we did it. So we're doing a 'Seinfeld' reunion show on 'Curb.' We're going to see writing. We'll see aspects of the read-through, parts of rehearsals. You'll see the show being filmed. And you'll see it on TV."

David added, "You won't see the entire show. You'll see parts of the show. You will get an idea of what happened 11 years later, and within the show, you're going to — it will be incorporated into regular 'Curb' episodes. So the cast members will be playing themselves on 'Curb' while all this is going on."

The "Seinfeld" creator and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" mastermind explained that the semi-reunion would be peppered throughout the season, with Jerry Seinfeld appearing in five episodes and the other cast members appearing in at least four. In the clips shown to reporters, we saw David interacting with Seinfeld and Alexander, but also a table-read for the reunion episode, with "Seinfeld"-esque dialogue on the etiquette of blowing your nose into napkins at fancy restaurants.

"It was surprisingly smooth," David notes of writing for "Seinfeld" again, even just in bits and pieces. "Coming up with the right ideas for what's happened in 11 years, that took some thought. Three of the guys working on my show as executive producers also were producers on 'Seinfeld,' so I was working with them, and I think we came up with some interesting stuff."

The assembled reporters were plenty curious on the logistics of event partially resurrecting a show that ended its acclaimed run back in May of 1998.

Given Real-Larry's refusal to do a reunion, what makes "Curb"-Larry give in?

"That's a very good question, really good question, and that will be answered in one of the episodes," David told the scribe. "Good. That is. That's a big thing, because I would never do that. So there was a compelling reason as to why I decided to do it."

And given the structure and conventions of "Curb Your Enthusiasm," can we assume that "Curb"-Larry might make a mess of the "Seinfeld" reunion?

"My guy might consider wrecking something like that, yeah," David laughed. "We will see what happens. My guy could very well wreck it. I'm not saying he did. I don't know."

I really hope my cable company forgets to shut off my free HBO for the whole season. Then you can turn it off. But not before this awesomeness.

Ten Years Later

Wow. Did any one predict the Star War's kid would grow up to be fat and nerdy? I was expecting he'd grow up to be some dumb blonde OC type kid. Not this, well, typical Star Wars fan.

American Homage

I don't care for the song but the video is cute.

Future Ex-Husband # 23

I don't understand a goddamn word he's saying, but then I don't really care either. 

What a cutie. And that accent. Damn. 

You Were Expecting Less?

Oh those poor beautiful people and their stupid problems. 

Dirty!

That 70's Porn

I was hoping this would be a parody of the sitcom, but it's just a general 70's thing.

Carlos Mencia found a new gig.

Yikes.

I dunno if this is supposed to be a farce or if it's serious? 

There are a lot of mormons in the Portland metro area. 

I will never get tired of Keyboard Cat!

Poor Groucho

Get me this on DVD, some LSD, and a Tab, stat!

And who don't like chicken on Sunday?

You Go Whoopi!

Eugene Levy's Gotta Eat

This has something to do with Christ right?

Mentos!

Best. One. Yet.

EMBED-Walker Told Keyboard Cat He Has AIDS - Watch more free videos

Message Received.

I'm sure this totally did it's job. And it's always those damn teenage girls trying to get into our teenage son's pants. Damn them!

Me. Want. Now.

But No Gays. Okay Gays Too.

Anticipation

I was thinking of writing about the movies I'm excited for this summer. My own preview kinda BS. And maybe I still will. But in all honestly there are things I'm looking forward to this summer. But not a whole lot that gets me really excited. Star Trek is almost here. Terminator's recent ad campaign and how they're giving everything away makes me think they are desperate. Not a good sign. I'm excited for Taking of the Phelam 1-2-3 because I love the original so much. But wary of the remake. We'll see. But other than that, not a whole lot. Except on thing. It's also a thing that's proof that I'm getting older. Or finally growing into the old man that I really am at my core. 

A new Woody Allen movie will always peak my interest. Him returning to New York after many years is special too. But Larry David starring in said movie is like the cosmos opening up and taking me up to cinema heaven. The reviews from the film festivals where it has shown have been mixed, but I don't care. I can't wait for it. 

Yes I am an old man now because the summer movie that gets me jonesing the most to see it is this: 


Okay, the poster kinda sucks. But I still don't care. Show me this movie already!

Sappy but Progressive.

Fun & Watchable???

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'

Play It Again Sam

Keyboarding cat is the latest viral video thingy going around the internets. Generally stuff like that is pretty lame and/or just plain stupid. But I dunno, this cat cracks me up.

Phone in a Microwave

This scared the shit out of me. But sometimes I totally believe a demon like that lives in my phone. Mostly when it deny's me reception.

Amen Sister!

Douche Bag of the Week: Part II

If you'd like to contact Rep. Foxx here's how: 

Phone: (202) 225-2071 

Phone: (336) 778-0211 
Phone: (828) 265-0240

Or you can leave an e-mail her on her web page. You can do that HERE. And while you're there take a second to look around her page. It's a doozy. 

Have at it kids! 

We'll Miss You Bea. . .

Roast of Pamela Anderson
Bea Arthur Uncensored
comedycentral.com
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

Douche Bag of the Week. If not the year.

Shit like this makes me livid. I was already worked up because I was called a 'faggot' by a group of thugs this morning, then I saw this and lost it. Lost it! 

And what's even worse? Matthew Shepard's mother was on Capital Hill and just happened to be in the gallery to hear that in person. That's pretty despicable. 

Hey Mrs. Foxx, how about we kidnap you, beat you with a pistol, and then leave you to die tied to a fence in the middle of fucking nowhere? Cause you deserve no less than that. Or if not you, then one of your children or grandchildren. And then we can all tell the world that their murder was a hoax. And you can be in the room when we lie about the details too. How about that? How would that make you feel? 

What a disgusting person you are. It's not wonder that only 21% of the populace considers themselves Republicans. This is what your party has been reduced to. Fringe whacko's and nut jobs. Agents of intolerance and ignorance. I only hope that as people like you show your true colors that your part dwindles until it's no more. That people like this have power is horrid. 

So Mrs. Foxx, as soon as we find out who's running against you in 2010, I'm writing them a check. I don't have much money to give. But I'll give something to your opponent. And I hope all you do too. Even if it's just a trifle. Anything to get your dumb ass out of the Capital. 

Nerd Alert! Goonies!

This makes me feel old. Really old. 

Jules

Yes I am a giant homo and yes I do want to see this. Sue me.

The Long, Long Road

While it's great that individual states are recognizing gay marriage, we still have a long way to go. Especially on the federal level. There needs to be gay marriage on a federal level for us to fully be equal and to get the rights we deserve: 

Oh, Iowa can provide recognition to gay marriages under all its laws and policies. But that's a surprisingly small part of what marriage encompasses. Under federal law, there are more than 1,100 rights and privileges that go with being a husband or wife. And none of them is available to married same-sex couples.

Under federal law, a person may transfer property to a spouse tax-free. Married couples may file their income taxes jointly. Someone whose spouse dies is assured Social Security survivor's benefits. A married person has the authority to make medical decisions for an incapacitated partner.

Or say you're an American citizen living in this country who marries a foreigner. Normally, you would be entitled to bring your beloved to this country to live permanently and become a citizen.

I suggest you read the whole article. But ultimately we need to repeal DOMA. Hey thanks Clinton, you made our job that much harder. We really appreciate it.

Bea Arthur in Star Wars!

The Atheists Have Their Proof

I think this is proof that there is no God. Sweet Jesus. How does this shit get made?
Does anybody remember when Ice-T was a rapper? And a respected one at that? 


EMBED-Tommy and the Cool Mule - Watch more free videos

Mario Must Be So Proud

I don't think it's any secret that I loathe Gwyneth Paltrow. Loathe her. Well check this out. Yeah, on the surface it's a nice gesture. A free gym membership for her fat friend. But read deeper into it. Delve on it. Mario's her only fat friend and she wants him to change. As much as I want to believe it's because she worries about his health, I know it's way more superficial for her. I mean it's Gwyneth Paltrow for Christs sakes. Heaven forbid she have a fat friend! This from the girl who was in Shallow Hal. 

It's enough to make me want to gain 50lbs just so there's never a chance of me even accidentally ever becoming her friend. 

Oh and by the way: This is why you're fat. 

Nothing is Sacred

Ronnie & Nancy have a special message for you.

It's almost 4/20 and in honor of that day, here's an oldie but a goodie:

Jenny met Jenny

This is pretty fucking awesome. And listen for the queen who keeps repeating 'Oh My God'. Pretty hilarious.

Keep On Keeping On. . .

I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that somehow, even this won't be enough to appease the tea bagging whack jobs. 

They Weren't Lying. . .

. . . bigger than the first. And our first glimpse of Devastator. He's fucking huge!

*Exclusive* Transformers Revenge of the Fallen Footage from Bay Films/Michael Bay Dot Com on Vimeo.

I Love Me Some Tilda

JULIA trailer in HD

This is Obscene.

McAuliffe is a hack. I hope he loses the primary. And I really hope they clean all this up. It's an obscene waste of money. You have to rely to stunts like this? Why not have a smart and winning message? No wonder Clinton lost with this hack McAuliffe running her campaign. 

More Proof It's Not About Spending

Gay Marriage = Religious Freedom

When dealing with morons, bigots, and assholes (oh my!) it's important to have a cavalcade of facts ready to pull out at any time. Here are some nice facts for you to have at your ready. Use them wisely and with prejudice. 

How Many Morons Does It Take To Constitute A Fake Movement?

Yes, Dick Army is the best way to describe it. Or an army of dicks rather. Though so far it doesn't look like they have enough people joining in their tantrum throwing to constitute a real army yet. 

But lets just be clear what this really is: an orchestrated effort to throw a temper tantrum. This isn't a real grass roots movement. This is not the work of intelligent people. This is an adult version of a hissy fit because they are suddenly out of power for the first time in years. This has NOTHING to do with taxes or spending. Because they kept their mouth shut when it was Bush and the republicans who started breaking the bank. They didn't say a thing when out surplus became a huge deficit under their watch. And it has nothing to do with taxes because their taxes are actually going down under Obama. Which that fact never gets enough press. A liberal Democrat just lowered your taxes you whack jobs. And they'll go back up to what they where in the Clinton years for the rich. Yes, those dark ages of the oppressive Clinton years where the rich had to stand in bread lines because their taxes where a strangle on them. 

Tea Baggers; Grow the fuck up. Seriously. 

I hurt my nose.

East Bound & Down was a very limited series (only 6 episodes) but it was all kinds of awesome. Here's just a clip of that awesomeness. And look for a cameo from Julio, who's still up to nothing.
Here's another great one:

AntiChrist

Lars von Trier's Antichrist - Official Trailer from Zentropa on Vimeo.

I haven't seen all of Lars von Trier's stuff but this trailer looks pretty creepy and has peaked my interest. I might actually make sure I see this one. If nothing else it looks like he's moving away from that ridiculous Dogma 95 bullshit. Does anybody even make Dogma movies anymore? I hope not. That whole thing was about the stupidest thing I'd ever heard. Really, I challenge any serious film buff to mount a valid defense of their movement. Can't be done. That's why. 

But lets face it, if you call your film AntiChrist, you better bring your A game. My interest is now slightly piqued in this. 

A Real Winner

I'm sure somewhere there are many 15 year old girls weeping that they don't make his age cut off. Weeping for joy I hope.

They Do Exist. . .

Check out this clip from Britian's Got Talent. I can't embed it, the cheeky bastards, but click on the link. You won't be disappointed. Talent exists in all ages and all looks. Not just in 16 year olds. It'd be refreshing to see more people like Susan Boyle in the entertainment world. Really. 

Just Because. . .

Rachel Points Out. . .

Teabagging. 2M4M. Jeeze these people ARE clueless. But it's such comedy for us, so carry on crazy righties. Carry on.

We All Do It. . . Except The Pope

Maybe I'll try to take my nephew to this movie since he probably won't be able to see Where The Wild Things Are in the theater. I'm sure learning the message of this movie is much more pressing. Especially since there is another set of diapers to be changed in the household now. 

Trek Yourself Fool!

Are you as creeped out as I am?? Yeah, that's a hybrid of my face and a Vulcan's. Okay, basically it's just my nose and mouth, but it's still no less creepy. Well and my patented dark circles under my eyes. This is a new promotion for the movie of course and you can do it yourself right HERE. It takes a while to get the photo lined up just right but be patient. And here's a hint, make sure your head pic is slightly angled like the examples. And is it me or 'Trek Yourself' an awesome phrase that should be added into the lexicon? I'm totally going to start using it. 

Hey, go trek yourself asshole!

I told that player to straight up go trek himself. 

Be Afraid! Be Very Afraid!

I guess when you have no logical leg to stand on, you just start making shit up.

You've Already Lost

This video fills me with such joy, I can hardly describe it. To be blunt, it's an old straight white guy from Iowa who gets it. He gets it. Why can't so many others?

But maybe, just maybe it seems like people are starting to catch on. I mean first Iowa, now Vermont and DC. It's a firestorm. It's coming and it can't be stopped. Only delayed. We're winning. One state at a time. Suck it, haters!

And as great as Vermont and DC seeing the light is, Iowa really is the big story here. It's a Midwest state, not one of those uppity, elitist Northeast states. 

Lying Sack Of Shit!

Liar, liar, liar!



Oh, what's this? Why it's proof of your lie! Hmmmmm. . .



Please go away Warren. I know you need your ego stoked all the time, but please do us all a favor and go away.

Dream Job #25

I've found my new vocation! Now, is there some sort of trade school I can go to that will teach me how to put make up on hot mens bodies? 

Real Time

I think this is all in order. Not totally sure. It was kinda screw on YouTube this week and I haven't had time to watch the whole show yet. If it's wrong, I'll try to fix it once I get to watch it.

Delightfully Dirty Dustin

Now if you were going to update this with current celebs, who would you pick?

My Future Ex-Husband #2

I cannot get enough of this guy. Seriously, I'm smitten like a kitten. He's like this beautiful ball of positive, cheery energy. He's hot, stylish, and he can decorate my house. What more do you need? 

It's Here To Stay!

This poor guy, the lights are shot right into his eyes and so he keeps tilting his head to get the damn lights out of his eyes. And the lights are bouncing off his glasses. So it's obvious it was done on the fly. But I like what he has to say. And right on that it sounds like they won't be able to ban gay marriage anytime soon. A beautiful state with gay marriage. Awesome. But I'm still not moving there. Though I want to visit Des Moines. Just to see what the hell a gay bar in Des Moines looks like. You know you're curious. 

3 Down, 47 More To Go!

Who knew Iowa was more progressive than California. Actually Iowa has a history of early equal civil rights. I'm happy now that a state in the heartland has come to its senses and decided to treat us equally. Because now maybe people can look at it and not think that it's only the elite/liberal Northeast thats doing this. 

And Iowa really is a beautiful state. Now I really only saw it from the highway. But it's rolling hills of corn fields spotted with trees. And I spent the last portion of the drive right at dusk. Really pretty. Nebraska, not so much. Pretty much once you cross the state line, it suddenly gets really ugly. Go figure. So yay Iowa!



So now we have three states that allow gay marriage and yet the end of the world hasn't come yet. Still no rapture. Maybe we have to wait till all states allow it? I dunno. 

The odd thing is that there isn't a much larger hullabaloo about this. I mean I had to search on the front page of Huffington Post to find the story. It's buried way down near the bottom. How things change. And changing they are. 

Justice is coming. It will happen in my lifetime. It's shameful that as progressive Oregon loves to portray itself that we don't have full, equal marriage. Shameful. 

Fanny Pack Redux

I'd hate to be working for Madonna today. Why? Somebody told her 'no'. Yes, the judge ruled that she can't adopt another kid from Malawi. And you know that 'no' just isn't a word that she hears a lot. She gets what she wants! *snaps finger in the air* (I think that's my favorite part of Truth or Dare). 

You know what this is really about? The fanny pack. Come on, you knew I was going there. I think the judge took one look at her wearing that fanny pack and said 'no deal'. And really, could you blame him? They're not going to let one of their countries little treasures be raised by a girl from Detroit who wears a fanny pack. And all the millions of dollars and fake British accents aren't going to change that. I think we can now get rid of AD/BC and replace it with AFP/BFP: After Fanny Pack and Before Fanny Pack. 

Actually I'm sure she'll get the kid. I'd bet money on it. I mean she adopted the last one without following their residency laws, why would this one be any different? And really, this kid has a chance to escape the horror of living in an impoverished third world country. Do you really think they're going to not give her that chance? And I know I give her crap, but really, kudos to her. She's changing the lives of these kids for the better and bringing attention to a place that could use all the attention and help it can get. But in the meantime, let's remember happier times: 

Keep It Together doesn't get the love it deserves. And yes, obviously her accent has gotten a lot better. 

Madge Wore What?

If you ever needed any proof that Madonna has entirely lost it I present you with this: 



No, not that she's adopting another kid. No, it's that Madonna is wearing a fanny pack! A fanny pack! As a fag who vogue'd his way through the 90's and saw her comeback show in Vegas in 2001 I cannot tell you how dispiriting this is. Who wears fanny packs anymore? Fat asses at the mall and obnoxious American tourists seem to be the only wearers of this fashion atrocity anymore. Really Madonna, it's time to move to Vegas, set up shop at the Bellagio and settle into that kitchy/showy Vegas stage of your career. I'm sorry, but the fanny pack is the final nail in the coffin. 

My Future Ex-Husband

Because he asked us too spread it around, here it is:



I think us Jay Brannan fans need a specific kitchy name. Something kinda stupid. Like how Clay Aiken fans were called Claymates. I'm not comparing them at all, don't freak out. I'm just using that as an example. We need a name. Brannatics? I dunno. Any ideas?

And it's weird seeing him drive in this. I know he was born in Texas but I just envision him as a pure New Yorker who doesn't even know how to drive.

Bruno Red Band!

From watching the Ali G show in the past Borat was always the funniest character. He could get away with so much because Americans are inherently nice to foreigners. But gay foreigners? Forget about it. So I think that plus the fact that so many people know his schtick now might affect the movie. Who knows? But it looks hilarious from this trailer. I can't wait. 

Why Hasn't Anybody Done This Before?

Hustler is making a Star Trek porn. Pretty kooky. Read all about it and see all the actors/actresses HERE but beware there's nudity. Though I really think this would work better as a gay porn because let's face it, Star Trek was pretty much a sausage fest. When I first saw this picture I thought, "Are they just all going to gang bang Uhura?" But of course they're going to add in a bunch of female recruits. But how on Earth can you have a Star Trek porn and not have Kirk bed a green chick? Or at least a Tribble or two! But kudos for including a Khan. None of the guys are all that good looking, another reason it works better as a gay porn. The guys in straight porn usually aren't all that attractive. 

And don't worry, I'm not going to make a 'where no man has gone before' joke. But one thing is for sure, this will still probably be better than The Final Frontier. Zing!

Pappy Smear Auto Sales

I'm sure there are plenty of great vagina/car jokes in there somewhere but I can't think of any. So I guess you're on your own. Enjoy.

Wait, why does a gynecologist wear a stethoscope? 

"In Batches"

I hope this disgusts you, because it disgusts me. Thousands of Americans gave their lives, tens of thousands more wounded, and billions & billions of dollars all to liberate Iraq so that they can execute homosexuals in 'batches'. Iraqi-LGBT believes that 128 executions are imminent. 

Look, I understand that Iraqi was probably doing this before we ever came in, but maybe one of the conditions of our liberating them should be that they have to pull their heads out of their asses and join the modern world. We all know that going to war with Iraq was a colossal cluster fuck, but after all that America has invested in it, right or wrong, we should have some say in what happens over there. And basic human rights should one of the things we mandate that goes into their constitution. I don't think that's too much to ask. Oh but we can't because it's their beliefs. Well fuck their beliefs. Seriously. Their beliefs are barbaric. Painful as it might be for them, they need to get with the times. But to execute people for being gay is just crazy. Lock them away. Deport them. Make them wear a scarlet G. Anything else. But to rob them of their lives. . . it's just horrific. And what will the US do? 

Nothing. Because gay people aren't worth standing up for. Gay people aren't worth fighting for. Oh sure maybe we'll get a strongly worded statement out of the state department, but that's as far as it'll go. 

Not to mention the fact that we have no moral high ground to stand on anymore because we tortured people too. And what did that torture bring us? Not a damn thing. 

I could just scream. 

Blog Poll!

So I was flipping through my newly discovered free cable and came across TV Land. Who if there ever was a channel that needed their own theme park, TV Land is it. Ride the Silver Spoons train! Eat at the diner from Alice! Have racial epithets hurled at you by an animatronic Archie Bunker! But I digress. The Brady Bunch was on and it left me pondering that great, as of yet unanswered question: Was Mr. Brady a top or bottom? 

It's not on his Wikipedia page. Why ever not, I really don't know. Why isn't there a whole Wiki page about gay celebrities sex preferences? At least after they are dead let us know. I can't be the only one curious about this? 

But in watching the show I couldn't decide what I thought he was. It's not like he was some lisping Snagglepuss. You know that pink pussy was a big nelly bottom. His Wikipedia page talks about him threating partners after sex to keep their mouths shut, so that to me says angry butch top. But I've known some pretty aggressive, bitchy bottoms too. 

So I guess I just don't know. 

What do you think dear reader? 

Is that the face of an aggressive, angry top or a big nelly bottom? 

Graham and the Cracker

I love that Graham and David treat him like the piece of ass he is. I mean this boy doesn't have a thought in his head. But I guess that's okay when you're pretty. When he calls David 'bro' it pretty much tells me everything I need to know about Zac Efron. Right? That speaks volumes to me. Volumes. But he watches Little Britain, so he can't be all bad. 

Forgot About Overtime

Usually Overtime is just a few minutes. Actually some real discussion this week.

Real Time: Whole Show Again

I'm basically posting the whole show because it makes it easier for me to watch. So New Rules are at the end this time. 

My Sad, Sad Saturday Night

So last night was Earth hour where supposedly everybody was going to turn off their lights and read by candle light or something. Check out these pics: 

Are you in awe yet? 

Yeah. Me neither. There's still a shit load of lights on. Even in Las Vegas where it's kinda dramatic, but not so much. Look, the only was something like this works is if everybody does. Everybody. The only thing that would really make me go, 'holy shit' was if every single light was out. But that will never happen. Cause there will always be old curmudgeons like me that just don't give a shit. Or kinda give a shit, but not enough to sit in the dark for an hour and reflect upon energy consumption. I have enough problems with my boring Saturday nights that I don't need to make them more boring. 

And why only for an hour? Why not a day? Or a week? That'd really get people to think about their energy consumption. Or hell why not just give it all up. Turn everything off and go back to basics. Just like the hippies and Islamic fundamentalists want us too. Sorry, but I love my Mr. Coffee and my Blu-Rays too much to ever give them up. 

The whole thing reminds me of those one day gas buying boycotts they kept trying to have over the last few years. The idea being that if everybody didn't buy gas for one day it's drive the price down. Yeah, pretty freaking stupid. But people bought into it. Not intelligent people, but people nonetheless. Again in theory it works. In theory. But only if everybody does it. But there is enough Scrooges like me that it'll never be. I can be idealistic about many, many things but not something as stupid as this. 

So just how did I spend my Earth hour? Watching bad action movies on FX while surfing the internets. Yes I had my TV on, my computer on, and all my lights on. And if I could have I would have spent the whole hour brewing coffee and microwaving Hot Pockets constantly. Oh and I walked to Safeway and bought stuff to make myself a root beer float. Kinda sad really. 

One of the bad, bad action movies I watched was The Marine. This movie has to be some sort of weird spiritual cousin to Road House. Yet at the same time it's a odd Red State, right wing jack off action movie. Case in point; the movie opens in Iraq at an 'Al-Qaeda training camp'. I shit you not. And they show a whole big compound thingy. Like some sort of fortress. I mean are people stupid enough to think that, that's what it's really like over there? But this movie was produced by the WWE, so what do you expect? So John Cena goes in, kills all the brown people, and saves his Marine brothers who are just about to be beheaded. 

The action is kinda okay, but at the same time way over the top. There's a car chase where a cop car takes probably 10,000 bullet hits and just keeps going. I half expected it to fall apart ala' The Blues Brothers. But then it's a Camaro. And you know how those righties love their Camaro's. John Cena has all the charisma of a cinder block. He couldn't act his way out of a plastic bag. In fact if the villains really wanted to foil him they would just put him in a large plastic bag. I don't even think his face noticeably moves once. If you played a drinking game where you drank every time his face moved you'd be stone cold sober at the end. 

The real saving grace of this movie is the bad guys. Robert Patrick is especially crazy. He seems to be one of the only people in the movie who understands that he's in a trashy movie and he plays the camp aspect aptly. It starts with a self aware Terminator reference. Then out of nowhere Patrick receives a call to confirm his DirectTV platinum package while he's in the middle of the fucking swamp trying to get away. It's just so randomly wtf? Once you get to the point where one of the baddies is recounting how he was molested at summer camp and can't stand rock candy as a result you know this movie has totally gone off the rails. The movie is just terrible. But that good kinda terrible. 

I think the only thing that would improve this movie is if they recast John Cena with Michael Cena. Then you'd really have something. 

And that was my sad, sad Saturday Night. 

New Kids In The Hall Sketch!

I guess some website paid them a bunch of dough and they filmed a new sketch. Whether this is a one time thing or not, I don't know. But watching this it's clear, they still got it. 

Jesus Touched Me Down Inside

This song WILL be stuck in your head if you listen to it. So play at your own risk. You've been warned. 

For The Sis

So this artist Mari Kasurinen has taken My Little Pony dolls and modified them into your favorite fictional characters. Elvis was totally made up right? Pretty trippy cool actually. My favorite is probably My Little Alien. And My Little Predator. Check out all the rest at her site. 

Tolerance In Action

To the woman on the ABC news program who said 'tolerance has become an American value', well THIS happened last weekend at Seaside, Oregon. Yeah, those bruises and cuts look like tolerance to me. 

No Rose Ceremony For You!

I'd never thought about THIS, but they're right. So way to go Chicago gay bars that ban bachelorette parties. But it is a slap in the face to be obnoxiously celebrating your wedding in the bars of people who aren't allowed to legally wed. And the article is right, they usually do end up being as annoying and cloying as the straight guys they're trying to avoid. And the line about gay guys going to gay bars because they don't want to be around women, well that's only partially true. It's not so much that but that we want to go to a place where we know everyone is gay and to be around other gay people. There will always be women in gay bars. Fag hags gotta drink too! 

And that these parties come to gay bars and act like they're in a zoo is just beyond annoying. If you want to gawk and squawk go to Darcelle's. Women are mostly who go there anyways, right? 

Now the flip side is would it be okay if the tables were turned and straight bars were banning large gay parties? If they were loud and obnoxious as bachelorette parties usually are, then yes, I can see that being okay. But the facts are that we can't marry legally so we don't usually have these parties. And straight people you get all of society where the default is being straight. Let us have our few places where being gay is the default. Is that too much to ask? 

Now that I think about it bachelorette & bachelor parties should really be banned from all bars; gay and straight. They're just obnoxious and always get out of control.