Yeah, he totally looks like a Persian to me. Totally. Oh the modern miracles of Hollywood. Ugh. You might as well have John Wayne be Genghis Khan. Oh crap. At least they are letting him have some chest hair. It always bugs me when they have period pieces and the guys have chests smoother than a Slip N' Slide. The most egregious cases being Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai and Ryan Reynolds in The Amityville Horror remake. Mostly because they both have thick full beards, yet their chests have not a speck of hair on them. It takes you out of the periodness of the film. Oh and one more thing. Jake Gyllenhall is NOT gay.
Seriously, why isn't Claire McCaskill a bigger name in the Dem party? She's well on her way to being a superstar in my mind. And why is she a future bright shining star? Because she can communicate and do it effectively. She doesn't talk down. She doesn't talk up. She just says it as it is. She called out the Wall Street bankers as 'idiots' and rightly so. We need to check Harry Reid and get some real backbone for Senate Majority Leader. My support goes to her. I mean c'mon, her name has 'kill' in it! What more do you need people? And the obsession with earmarks by the right always baffles me. As if we got rid of them then all our problems would be solved. They make up maybe 3% of the budget. If that. We kind of have bigger problems to solve right now.
And I know I'm totally juvenile, but I can't help but laugh every time somebody says, 'beaver management'.
This trailer is all kinds of awesome. I can't wait for this movie.
I only have one hesitation. In all the trailers and promo material for this movie they haven't offered up a lot of one thing: Spock. And I don't mean old Spock. I think they're saving that as a treat for the fans and really they don't want this film to harken back too much to the old crew. They're trying to start something new and make this seem like a reboot or such. But they haven't given up a lot of new Spock. I'm not sure why. But he's largely missing from this trailer too. To be fair a lot of the other characters are as well. I worry that they picked a kid who looked like him, but can't act. And that rather high sounding voice he has doesn't do a lot for me. But who knows. We'll have to see how he works in context. All that said, I can't freaking wait for this. Yes, I'm a very big geek. Or is nerd? I dunno. One thing's for sure. I am a dork.
After seeing this trailer I feel like I've seen the whole damn movie. It's like they threw up every damn money shot and have told the whole story already. After all the trailer's they've shown it's hard to believe they have any other surprises in store. And really, I don't think there are anymore. I mean how great would it to be surprised to go into the movie that Cyclops or even Gambit is in it? And why the hell is Cyclops in this damn thing? It's supposed to be Wolverine's origin movie, yet to me, it looks like they're selling it as another 'team' movie. I want to be excited by this movie, but I have a sinking feeling that it's going to be a stripped down 90 minute wank of explosions and mutant cameos. A lot of that is the bad taste that X3 left in my mouth. And I'd guess that X3 left a bad taste in a lot of people's mouth and that will show up in this films grosses. But it's the first summer movie coming out, so that ensures it'll blow out of the gate huge.
The Seinfeld gang of four will be appearing on Curb Your Enthusiasm this fall in a multi-episode story arc. I have no idea what that'll be, but knowing Larry, it'll be great. The deets are HERE.
This is like two stars colliding and both going supernova at the same time!
Somehow I need to get HBO before fall.
This is how we last left Larry. I don't know if I've ever laughed so hard:
Maybe Portland is the most miserable city in the country because film distribution to here sucks. Case in point: Che is finally coming to town. It'll be at Cinema 21 starting March 13th. The middle of freakin March! It was shown around as early as October 2008 at festivals. Okay, fine. Then it was limited release in December. Now I get that we should be lucky to just see it at all. And to see it as meant to be seen. In one part instead of two separate films. But still. Movies seem to come here last. And it sucks. That means YOU people need to get out more and support more independent film. So it becomes desirable to bring movies here faster. I saw Tell No One in New York in July. When I came back to Portland, it was just starting to play here in October! And then it played for almost two months! The whole limited release pattern drives me nuts and I'm sure I'll write more about that in the future.
And really it makes no sense to not bring Che here earlier. This town was made for Che. They should have brought it here first. They'd rack up great business and people would take notice. I'd be 85% of all the houses and apartments on the east side have a Che poster or T-shirt somewhere in them. At least 85%.
Now what's really cool is that on Friday the 13th and Saturday the 14th Steven Soderbergh will be in attendance. Very cool. You can buy tickets HERE. Normally I'd be all over this there's just one little problem. The film is 263 minutes long. Which normally would be no problem. I'm a die hard film goer. I can take it. But I can't take it at Cinema 21.
Why?
Because their seats are the most ungodly horrors I've ever encountered in my long film going career. After about 20 minutes my ass starts to hurt and from then on there is no amount of shifting that can save you. Then you'll spend the rest of the film shifting around, thinking about your ass and not focused on the film. It's why I don't go there. It ruins the experience. Maybe if it was a shorter movie I'd take the punishment, but not for this. Usually things that play at Cinema 21 end up later on at Fox Tower or the Hollywood Theater. And the seats are Hollywood aren't no picnic either, but I can make due with those. Now I'm pretty sure that Che won't end up at Fox Tower. And if it ends up at Hollywood I don't know if I could take those either for 263 minutes. This is one film I'm definitely going to wait for Blu-Ray for. And as cool as seeing Soderbergh would be, I have to think of my ass.
Do you want to know what it's like to be a man? It's kinda like this SITE. You walk around trying to picture people naked all day. Usually just people you'd like to see naked, but this site gives you an idea of what it's like. Once you enter the site just click on the people and watch their clothes disappear. Actually it is pretty fascinating. Though there are too many women. And not enough hot men. And how come nobody has pubic hair? Is that the thing in Germany? Jess, you've been to Germany and I'm sure saw tons of naked people there. Tons! Is that what they're like? Does everybody shave?
And really, the last one should have been a tranny. Just to throw you for a loop.
I couldn't decide if this was a 'Darn Near Puked' post or an 'End of Western Civilization' post. In the end it was both. Usually it's clear to me, but this one really threw me for a loop. But I can say one thing: This is why they hate us.
Yesterday we had Christian Bale guest blogging on his thoughts about the Public Enemies poster. Well today we have the release of the Public Enemies trailer. I put out some feelers to Bale again to get his thoughts about this Depp-centric trailer and well. . . from the sound on the other end of the line, I'm pretty sure his head just exploded. His publicist quickly got on the line and simply said, "No Comment" and then hung up.
Anyways. I really, really like this new trailer. I love Michael Mann and I don't think he's ever made a movie I've disliked. Heat is very near the top of my favorite movie list. Miami Vice was probably one of his weakest efforts, but I still enjoyed it. This trailer kinda has feelings of a Prohibition era Heat to it, but most this trailer focuses on one thing: Johnny Depp. Universal, we get it. You got Johnny Depp in your movie. Congratulations. But this isn't a pirate movie. So let's dial it down a bit. But, it does have a very good release date. It's a nice adult (remember when they made movies for adults?) feeling film and will be great counter-programming to Giant Fucking Robots: The Deuce. Plus it's Fourth of July weekend and what's more apple pie than robbing banks? Really?
So I'm stoked for this movie. Really. Except for one thing. The cinematography. Ever since Collateral, Michael Mann has been playing around with digital cameras. The problem is that it's always visible. You can see in this trailer, what's been filmed on digital in some scenes. And it's distracting and it looks bad. As if they filmed it with an old camcorder. And I'm not against digital filming. While I prefer the look of film, I understand the way of the future. But there have been plenty of digitally filmed movies that don't look as bad as this. Superman Returns was filmed all digital and that movie looked gorgeous. Is it too much to ask for the same here?
We've got a huge exclusive for the blog today! With the release of the new poster for Public Enemies today we have a special guest blogger today. The one, the only, the rabid Christian Bale! It's quite a coup for us here. We put out some feelers after seeing this poster to see what Bale's thoughts were on it. And sure enough, he had some pretty strong feelings about it. See what he has to say below the poster.
What the FUCK? What's wrong with this poster? Why the fuck don't I get equal billing? What is my name doing down below the title like I'm a fucking amateur? Am I not professional? Am I not professional? Ooooh good for you Johnny Depp. You were in a fucking pirate movie? Good for you. I'm fucking Batman you fuck! I'm in the second biggest movie of all time! That's what that is. Think for one fucking second! Is it too much to ask for at least my name above the title too? I'm not asking. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. Put my fucking name above the title. I'm professional. I'm not amateur. I've been doing this since I was four-fucking-teen for fucking Spielberg man! What the fuck have you been doing Mr. generic poster designer? Hmmm. Designing floating heads for Sandra fucking Bullock movies? Do you want me to trash your office? Do you want me to trash your office? Then why are you trashing my name? Huh? You FUCK!! You're a nice guy. You're a nice guy, but that don't fucking cut it when you're bullshitting and fucking around like this with my poster. I'm going to kick your FUCKING ASS! You PRICK! What don't you FUCKING understand? GIVE ME A FUCKING ANSWER!
Well. There you go. Some thoughts from Mr. Bale. The Public Enemies trailer will premier on Watchmen this Friday. As will the new Terminator trailer which already is online.
I'm pretty sure this is from the episode that Nixon was talking about. If only the full episode was online. Still, it cracks me up to think about Nixon sitting in the White House watching this, stewing over the 'handsome' fellows.
Fascinating. I love how Nixon calls him 'Arch'. Totally oblivious to the fact that he's Archie Bunker and that the show is one of the most popular in the country at the time. And notice how Nixon keeps bring up how some of the guys are handsome and whatnot. I don't think he was a mo, but he had major issues with looks. He always wished he was as good looking as that damn Jack Kennedy. But that 14 second beep that plays right after he says he 'understands homosexuality' is a bit suspect. My Nixon fascination only grows every day. I could listen to him say 'Goddman it' and 'whores' all day long.
