Jesus Touched Me Down Inside

This song WILL be stuck in your head if you listen to it. So play at your own risk. You've been warned. 

For The Sis

So this artist Mari Kasurinen has taken My Little Pony dolls and modified them into your favorite fictional characters. Elvis was totally made up right? Pretty trippy cool actually. My favorite is probably My Little Alien. And My Little Predator. Check out all the rest at her site. 

Tolerance In Action

To the woman on the ABC news program who said 'tolerance has become an American value', well THIS happened last weekend at Seaside, Oregon. Yeah, those bruises and cuts look like tolerance to me. 

No Rose Ceremony For You!

I'd never thought about THIS, but they're right. So way to go Chicago gay bars that ban bachelorette parties. But it is a slap in the face to be obnoxiously celebrating your wedding in the bars of people who aren't allowed to legally wed. And the article is right, they usually do end up being as annoying and cloying as the straight guys they're trying to avoid. And the line about gay guys going to gay bars because they don't want to be around women, well that's only partially true. It's not so much that but that we want to go to a place where we know everyone is gay and to be around other gay people. There will always be women in gay bars. Fag hags gotta drink too! 

And that these parties come to gay bars and act like they're in a zoo is just beyond annoying. If you want to gawk and squawk go to Darcelle's. Women are mostly who go there anyways, right? 

Now the flip side is would it be okay if the tables were turned and straight bars were banning large gay parties? If they were loud and obnoxious as bachelorette parties usually are, then yes, I can see that being okay. But the facts are that we can't marry legally so we don't usually have these parties. And straight people you get all of society where the default is being straight. Let us have our few places where being gay is the default. Is that too much to ask? 

Now that I think about it bachelorette & bachelor parties should really be banned from all bars; gay and straight. They're just obnoxious and always get out of control. 

Breaking News!

OMG! I can't believe it. It totally blew my mind. Can you believe it? 

There are assholes in New Jersey! 

Yes. I know it's hard to believe. Try to control your emotions. Sadness, anger, disappointment, confusion. You run the whole gamut. But you're going to have to accept the fact that yes indeed, there are assholes in New Jersey. How did they get there? I don't know. But they're there. ABC news did some bang up journalism to expose these assholes for the assholes they really are. But guess what, there's some decent people in New Jersey as well. Who knew? 

Good people and bad people in the same state. 

Cats and dogs living together! 

Mass hysteria! 

First point, any person with half a brain would realize that mo's like this wouldn't be caught dead in a bar like that. But even more so mo's like that wouldn't be caught dead in New Jersey. That's why the term 'bridge & tunnel' exists because when New York City is right across the river, why on Earth would you ever decide, hey, let's stay in this cesspool of Jersey and drink our Cosmo's at the sports bar just down the street? 

Second point, could they have picked any bigger stereotypes? Hey ABC news, we don't all act like that. And they told them to act like themselves? I think anybody can realize that they're over doing it. That or they are the gayest things ever. And they both have vests on? Is that the new gay trend? Because I refuse to wear one. This fad can past me right on by. 

ABC wants to sell this as a 'real' situation but it's not when it seems like half the people in there are actors. And it's really not reality when you have someone in there to fan the flames and set up your situation. To egg people on. Maybe the guy's just a massive follower and will agree with anything the guy says. He could be a Scientologist for christ sakes. They'll say anything to get you to join. 

 Look, I understand the point that ABC is trying to make. I just think it's kind of an obvious point. And they're selling it as if gay guys expressing their love for one another as everybody else is allowed to in public is controversial. Haven't we gotten past this point yet? And using a largely manufactured setting isn't really getting it. That's why I can't wait for the Bruno movie. You can make your point while making us laugh and not feel the need to get out your giant wagging finger. You know, expose assholes for the assholes they are. Not then going and interviewing the asshole about why he was such an asshole even though he denies ever being an asshole. Really, the asshole denied ever being an asshole. Go figure. Why that's something only an asshole would do! Then we need to go to talk to a therapist or something about why the asshole felt the need to lie about being an asshole and what was really going on in the assholes mind. 

And the woman who says that tolerance is now an American value. Really? All of the sudden? Just not the tolerance to get married. Or adopt children. Or have other basic rights. Hey ABC, why don't you try this again but in a redneck bar in Alabama. Or Utah. Or even just about any small town here in Oregon. And you won't even have to hire an actor to egg everybody on. Then we'll see just what a tolerant world is. But don't try it in Wyoming, cause then they'll fucking kill you. 

Crystal Ball

Senator Byron Dorgan is a frequent guest on Ed Schultz radio show. He's always come across as a pretty smart guy, but who knew he could see into the future. Here's a quote from him from way back in November 1999: 

I think we will look back in 10 years' time and say we should not have done this but we did because we forgot the lessons of the past, and that that which is true in the 1930's is true in 2010. I wasn't around during the 1930's or the debate over Glass-Steagall. But I was here in the early 1980's when it was decided to allow the expansion of savings and loans. We have now decided in the name of modernization to forget the lessons of the past, of safety and of soundness,

Hmmmm. If only we'd listened then. Who aren't we listening to now? 

Wild Things Are Here

Aaaggghhh!  Mickey grow up faster already! Your first movie going experience needs to be something special. Yeah you probably won't remember it. That's okay. But that doesn't mean it shouldn't be an amazing experience. Unfortunately for it to be an amazing experience for you, that means you have to be old enough to be able to sit still through the whole thing and be captivated by the movie. That's your part of the bargain. Hollywood's part of the bargain is to make a really good quality kids movie. Something timeless. Sadly we don't get too many of those. Well this October right around your third birthday it looks like we're getting one. Where The Wild Things Are is coming out and it looks amazing! I wish you were old enough for me to take you to this, but I just don't think it's in the cards. Hopefully if this movie is a success they'll make more like it. But I refuse (this goes to your mother), I refuse for your first in theater going experience to be for some crappy Dreamworks animated movie where they put hip-hop clothes on a cow and make pop culture references that pass as jokes and will be dated in two months anyways. The timing if off, but how I wish it wasn't. But I guess you can always read the book. I know your mother would approve of that. Anyways, he's the great looking trailer: 

Collective Yawn

So Spandau Ballet are reunited. *Yawn* Right? Hey guys, I think you missed the boat by a few years. If they had done this, I dunno, maybe 8 or 9 years ago maybe they could have conned some people out of their money. Maybe. But does anybody now give two shits? They had one good song. One. Are there really enough people willing to plop down $29.95 a ticket, pay for a babysitter & parking and haul their ass out to some sorta small venue just to see that ONE song live? 

Here, watch the video, I just saved you some money. You can thank me later. 

I've Heard This Story Before

I don't want to get my hopes up again. 

Last year at something called Outfest they screened the original directors cut of the movie 54. It's about 45 minutes longer and has lots more sex, sex, and sex. Especially gay sex. Being that Ryan Phillippe's character was supposed to basically fuck his way through the club and right to the top. I mean it was Studio 54 for christ sakes. The theatrical cut of the movie really seemed too tame. Too wholesome and not gritty enough. Part of that was the cinematography and they can't really fix that. But they can add the footage that they cut out. 

So anywho, they screened this directors cut and it went over like gang busters. Then last summer they were going to screen the directors cut in New York. A midnight show kinda thing with the director there in person. Sorta on the down low. So on a Saturday night I hauled my ass all the way down to the East Village, paid my money, waited patiently only to have the director come out to introduce the movie and tell us that they were showing the theatrical cut. W. T. F.? Miramax had gotten wind that they were doing this and put the kibosh on it. I was annoyed because they didn't bother to tell me that when I bought my ticket or when I was waiting around for the show to start. And I really don't know what Miramax was all up in arms about, there was maybe all of 15 of us there. Two assorted mo's with the director and then maybe 3 or 4 people left to go get their money back. I was annoyed but stayed for the movie. What the hell, I hadn't seen it in forever. So watched I did. And I was immediately transported back to 1998. Going to Crack-of-my-ass for school. All the insecurities of being gay. The fabulous international movie poster on my wall. And the memories of just how crazy hot Ryan Phillippe is. Wowzer. And Mike Myers has never been better. And I have a feeling he never will be better. 

So word is now that the directors cut will see the light of day on DVD in September. I'll believe it when I see it. I hope it does because the Studio 54 is a pretty crazy, interesting story and it deserves some justice. Even though I feel the director's cut won't do that. They need to do a gritty, 70's feeling and looking movie that actually has the balls to show the real celebrities that were there and not just make ones up or use one's that are dead. 54 isn't a great movie. Probably not even a good one. But it's a movie of my youth. It's one of those milage signs you see on the side of a highway. My highway of life. I hope I can see it how it was originally meant to be seen. 

Behind The Curtain

Hey Toto, sometimes you don't have to to pull back the curtain. Just let it be. I'm talking about this report from The Smoking Gun. The Smoking Gun is kinda like that kid in the back of the class who reminds the teacher that she forgot to give us homework for the weekend. Why expose what Sacha Baron Cohen is up to for his Bruno movie? Can't they just let some things be? Borat was a brilliant, hilarious movie and I can't wait to see what he has cooked up for his Bruno character. This country is filled with a lot of homophobia. Just beneath it's surface, often seeping through. Even in people who claim to be open minded and have no problem with it. And Cohen using his special brand of magic to make a point and to in a sense let us examine ourselves all while laughing our ass off is a good thing. So why make it harder for him to do it in the future? Meanwhile, they recently screened 20 minutes of the movie at SXSW and it sounds hilarious. I can't wait to see it. 

What Lies In The Hearts of Sandwiches?

They're making a sequel to that crappy Journey To The Center Of The Earth movie from last year. It's called Journey To The Center Of The Sandwich also starring Brendan Fraser and also in 3-D. I wonder if they'll be able to get cell phone reception in the middle of the sandwich just like they did in the middle of the Earth? 

1 Min. 1 Take. 1 Wonders.

This is pretty fucking awesome. I feel like with the tons of free time on my hands I should be doing shit like this or the electric sheep herding. Something that's a massive waste of time but kinda cool when watched on the internet and will lead to no monetary value at all. And it'll be forgotten in a weeks time. Any ideas?

Desire is War

I dunno what this is, but I'm not complaining.